Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Papa Dell Protection Program

Do any of you ever get scared at night? Do you worry that someone is going to break in and steal your things? Or kidnap you? I used to fear such things. But now, what is there to fear? I live with my dad - he protects me.... Pah. I promised you a story....so here you go!

Twas a casual night in the house of Dell. The lights were out, Dells were tucked into bed and sound asleep. Then, abruptly at 5:34 a.m. I recieve a phonecall from my father - his ring tone is "I should've been a cowboy" by Toby Keith. Clearly this can be a scary song to hear at such an hour. So there I am, infuriated at my father for calling me in the middle of the night while he is just down the hallway in his bedroom. What could merit such a phonecall?!

"Sara! Where are you?" is the first thing Papa Dell frantically asks me as I answer the phone. Clearly, I tell him that I am just in my bedroom TRYING to sleep. He then proceeds to tell me that he heard three taps on his window to the backyard and asks if I heard them. OF COURSE I didnt hear them! My room is nowhere near the backyard! I wonder if there is just a Raven, tap..tap..tapping on the door. But nah, not likely.

At this point, I am actually a little bit scared. But have no fear, Papa Dell proceeds to tell me "Okay. I'm gonna check the house. ......and I'm gonna have a gun".

A gun?!! My father is going to prance around the house checking for intruders with a GUN?! He is 107 years old...what is he going to do?! So, I continue to lay in my bed staring into the pitch black darkness just hoping that there was just a Raven at the window tap..tap..tapping.

Then my door creaks open, and all I see are my father's hands slowly making their way into my bedroom - his G-phone flashlight application shining into my eyeballs from one hand, and in the other his gun is pointed to the air. Finally, he pokes his head in and tells me its all clear. Then he lets his guard down and walks all the way into my room and what is he wearing?! Nothin but his knickers. Ay ay ayyy!

But now you can understand why I have no need to fear the night. No need to fear intruders or kidnappers. All is well with Pape Dell Protection Program on 24 hour alert.

1 comment:

  1. as a 27.6 year old man, I do not have the option of moving home for fatherly protection.

    so I bought a .45